Of Devolution and Stainless-Steel Wheelbarrows

Wheelbarrows for Kshs.109,000? What’s all the fuss about? I mean, they are made of “stainless steel” and non-carcinogenic materials. 109,000 is surely a very fair price for such special barrows.  Never mind the fact that food security and poor roads are still a major issue Bungoma. No bruh, we have to worry about the safety of wheelbarrow users. We wouldn’t want them to contract cancer in the course of their work now, do we?

See, De(eat)volution is working very well for this country. The needs of the common mwananchi are being met. Their cries are being answered. People complained about the high cases  of cancer being reported. They cried, “serikali saidia.” This time, Serikali heard. And while at it, Serikali decided to be wise. Prevention is better than cure; so they bought non-carcinogenic wheelbarrows. Aren’t you seeing the high levels of wisdom being exhibited by our leaders? I can’t even fathom.  1 Million is a very small price to pay for such a highly beneficial investment.  Just imagine the numerous lives that will be saved.  Asante sana bwana Governor, we really do owe you one.  Our immense gratitude as citizens cannot be put into words.

Forget the striking health workers. Forget that children are learning in schools with muddy floors. Forget the fact that these same children don’t have shoes and the jigger infestation is still a huge menace. Forget that  teachers  to these very same  children whose only hope for a  better life is education, are on another “mother of all strikes”  and have threatened not to bat an eyelid unless they are paid.  Forget the fact the farmers in this agricultural county are still stuck in century old farming practices for lack of training. Forget that the sugar industry collapsed and we are now borrowing from Uganda. Such a shame, it’s like borrowing a loan from your poverty stricken relative.

Well, forget about all that. Wheelbarrows are more important. Did you hear that the wheelbarrows are distantly related to Optimus Prime? How cool is that? At one point they’re just pieces of stainless steel and the next, walking robots capable of constructing roads, cleaning the town and renovating buildings.  What more could we want? Word also goes round that these special wheelbarrows have a self-cleaning mechanism. No who wouldn’t want that?

Are you now beginning to see why 109,000 is a small token to pay for all this awesomeness? Leave maendeleo to boring folks like Alfred Mutua.  Well, Bungoma county needs these special wheelbarrows more.