The “F” Word: Marriage is not a Reward

We live in a generation of educated fools. Even the most informed and respectable people make utterances that leave you wishing they had not opened their mouths in the first place. Ignorance is a disease ridden deep in the backbone of our current generation, and it’s really saddening that the young, “enlightened” men are the ones who are most affected.

A few weeks ago, it was announced that Chimamanda Adichie, the Nigerian author and a renowned feminist, was expecting a baby. Now, that is not what this is all about. It’s about the tweets and comments that ensued afterwards; and not surprisingly, most of them were from men. “If Chimamanda is really pregnant, then these women should never come to me with that feminism crap” “Chimamanda will lead these girls to divorce and she’ll still be married” “Chimamanda is pregnant? Who would have thought? Her feminism game so strong I thought she would impregnate her husband” “Chimamanda lied to y’all. She’s out there having her baby and you’re stuck single”

Those are just but the few ignorant remarks that go a long way to show you how unreasonable the “elite” twitter and blogosphere folks who should be more informed are. And i’m glad that some women stepped up to bash some of these folks. 

In a generation laden with information, most people still choose to be ignorant. How else would a man, probably a university graduate for that matter, still have such narrow minded opinions about feminism? One would think they’d use their Data bundles responsibly and at least look up the basic definition.

Feminism is not Misandry. Perhaps that’s where all the confusion stems from.

Most people have the perception of feminists as being “masculine looking women who are trying to be like men.” They think of feminists as “stubborn” women who hate men and refuse to get married. In fact, the moment a woman begins expressing her opinions boldly, they are referred to as a feminist. And the term in this context is meant to act as an insult.

Well, if speaking up for equal rights is offensive, then I’ll gladly offend you.  I remember how someday I told a friend that if I ever get married, we’d have to split chores 50-50 with the hubby, “You’ll die single waiting. No African man will accept that”

Which brings me to the other point, since when did marriage become a bench-mark for success in a woman’s life? It is not some kind of reward for being a “good woman”? . It is offensive for men to think that a woman’s goal in life is to get married. There are so many “good women” out there who  opt not to get married.  Again, marriage is NOT a reward. It is a decision that you make; thanks to the freedom of choice.

So telling me that no one will marry me because of my “stubbornness” is not a threat. What if I didn’t intend to in the first place?  And besides, if you’re threatened by a woman with an opinion then perhaps you should grow some balls, or better still, hand them to her coz she clearly has more guts than you do.