4 Types of Women: Househelps of Kawangware Edition

People keep saying that Kenyan TV stations have shitty content and they’d rather die of boredom than watch local programs. While this may be true to some extent, I beg to differ. Some stations have really gone out of their way to create very entertaining local programmes. But then again, the  level of entertainment is subject to an individual’s taste and preference. To cut the long story short, I applaud KTN for going out of their way to support local talent by airing a number of hilarious Kenyan comedy shows.

Among my favourite shows is “The Real House helps of Kawangware”, a parody of the popular western reality shows that focuses on the daily dramas, affairs and lives of house helps.  The show, created by Abel Mutua, will leave you laughing your ass off without even trying.

I couldn’t help relate the personas of the main cast to those of women in general.

1. The Awitis

Well, Awiti is the no nonsense kind of woman that always has things done her way. She is not afraid to use a few threats here and there to make sure that things do not deviate from her set course. Anyone who crosses her path will be dealt with accordingly; physical enforcement is not ruled out when it comes to the Awitis.

Awitis are very straight forward women who don’t have time for gossip and small talk; she has no time for games too and prefers dealing with things on the spot.

The Awiti kind of woman is also very possessive when it comes to her relationships and she will defend it with her last breath.  She is probably the type to slap both the side chic that preys on her man and beat the man that cheats on her senseless before leaving.  If there is a woman you should not mess with, it is the Awiti Type.

2. The Njambis

Njambi’s are women who know they are pretty and have mastered the art of using their feminine wiles to manoeuvre about. They have mastered the art of seduction and know that men have a weakness when it comes to saying no to a beautiful woman. Njambi’s however tend to be players and gold diggers. She is a professional when it comes to the practical application of the “aki woiyee nibuyie” line. She dates a man who will benefit her in one way or another and dump him as soon as her agenda has been fulfilled.  Njambis are serial heartbreakers. They might be sweet on the outside but veryconniving on the outside.

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3. The Truphenas

Truphenas are very weird and aloof. They have very divergent priorities from the rest if the world. They tend to be very selfish and only look out after themselves.  The Truphena type are udaku perpetrators and will probably snitch on the source of the gossip to the gossip subject. Truphenas are also the type to go on a date coz of the free food. Truphenas love their food and are the types to stress or comfort eat. If you are dating a Truphena, do not expect much because she isn’t the tpe to fuzz much about her looks. She might even throw on a Safaricom T-shirt with blue jeans and Bata Ngomas when coming for a date with you.

4. The Kalekyes

Kalekyes are those sweet, innocent looking women whom you think cannot harm a fly. But on the inside, they are really little miss Cruelas. They will smile and compliment a woman they hate.  You can never really know what a Kalekye is plotting, but be very afraid. Never cross her path coz you never what storm might she be brewing in her head. Kalekyes can be really sweet or the devil’s spawn depending on where you stand in her life.