Space In a Relationship

Relationships. They are supposed to be sweet, rosy, happy and satisfying. You dream of dating a man who’s always at your beck and call, a man who will drop by with chocolates and a bottle of wine. His free time is dedicated towards taking care of your needs. He sends flowers to your place of work on random days. He takes you out often and buys you those expensive dresses and heels that you lust after in clothing stores. A man who’s there for you 24/7, 360 days a year.


While most men will meet the above criteria, some are on the borderline psychotic. These men confuse affection and suffocation in a relationship. At first, him getting angry when you took your time to reply to his texts was cute. You thought the constant hourly calls to check on you were charming. His jealous outbursts when he saw you being all warm to your colleagues seemed sweet.

Then…months down the line, you just can’t take it anymore. You can stand the thought of having to explain why you didn’t pick up his call or text him back for the umpteenth time. You’re tired of explaining why you can’t spend Saturday night with him because that’s your alone time. You feel confined and frustrated. The anger boils up and you just want to vent. The love you once had turns to disgust real quick.

See, what some men don’t understand is that once a girl begins dating you, it doesn’t mean that all her time becomes dedicated towards you. It doesn’t mean that she loses touch with all the other things in her life simply because you came into it. Believe it or not, you are not her oxygen. She has things she loves to do other than you (pun intended). Yes, it is sexy for you to miss her presence and to feel neglected when she doesn’t reply to your texts, but only once in a while.

It is obnoxious when a man creeps into your personal space simply because you’re dating them. You can’t Tweet in peace because he’ll ask why so- and –so keeps mentioning you. He gets pretty mad when you don’t put him as you MCM on Instagram. He wants to know what’s going on between you and that classmate you uploaded a pic with the other day on Facebook. And why in heaven’s name were you giggling so hard over the phone with Ken? Is there something he needs to know?

All I’m saying is, let a girl breath. Yes, you love her and you want to show her that you adore her, but don’t smother her with it and ‘finish her oxygen’ in the process. Just because she chose to go hiking over spending time with you doesn’t mean that she loves you any less. Give each other space. It’s not always about you, sometimes she just doesn’t feel like texting back, understand that. And the next time you feel jealous of one of her male pals, remember that she chose you.

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