Much as we all proudly proclaim to be a digital generation living in the 21st century, somewhere deep in the societal heart, the belief that women are the weaker sex is still inept. Yes, the constitution has really done a lot to protect the woman; yes we can vote and we have equal opportunities in the job market as men. But when it comes to the sexuality issue, suddenly, the woman is supposed to be symbol of submissiveness and an icon of morality.
Since birth, a woman is taught to conserve her “flower” only for her husband. The fruit should only be picked once it’s ripe i.e on your marital bed. And the notiion that sex is a gift to your husband alone is the most twisted and disturbing notion. What about those women who simply do not want to become married? Aren’t they deserving of the Big O that is their right owing to the mere fact that they possess vaginas?
The ‘whore’ label is brandished onto a sexually liberated women. Since when did sexual liberation and prostitution becomes mutually interchangeable? Why do we crucify women for chosing to satisy their sexual needs??
A man can sleep around with the entire populace if he so desires, but society never points fingers. Never judges. It is ok, he is a man with needs afterall. So what?? Don’t women have needs too?? This level of lopsided discrimination is disgusting to say the least.
Women who’ve decided to pursue careers and businesses at the expense of marriage are again termed as ‘prostitutes’ or are insinuated to have ‘slept their way to the top’ . Similarly, single mothers who’ve decided to raise their kids without a man are given the loathful name. According to society, there is something wrong with an unmarried woman. So who told these poeple that all women want is to belong to a certain man?? I bet the fact that sexually liberated women are aware of their rights scares the hell out of the men in our generatio because they know exactly what they want. The role of a woman is not to please a man but to be pleased as well.
Women must not let the society’s dumb rules suppress their sexuality. Virginity is oppression. The sooner women realize this, the better most marriages will be. Embrace your sexuality, having sex is NOT a SIN. There’s a reason why you have you have a vagina, use it!
Don’t let the society(read men) dictate on how you use it nor let the guilt of ‘fornication’ ostrisize you. It is your vagina and it should make you happy. You alone can call the shots and no amounts of being called ‘hoe’ will make you any less of a woman. You don’t owe anyone anything.
And if the notion if sexual purity also gratifies you, then keep pure and stay pristine. Again, you call the shots, the vagina is yours. And the next time before you call another woman “loose” for exploring her sexual side, remember that it is her vagina and perhaps you are a little bitter that someone else was bold enough to express herself in a manner that you your guts couldn’t.
That said, i will have sex when I want. Embrace your womanhood today.Liberate yourself.
NB//: Alwaus Use Protection
I agree with your points (all four of them) but I don’t agree that feminism is the problem. Feminism is a movement that needs to be kept alive because gender inequalities still exist in our society. Being biased against men is not a badge that every feminist wears.
Sex is so great but it’s not something you discuss with close minded people or Christians. You just go with the virginity vibe and laugh your head off in your head as they talk about it.
This is a nice piece 🙂
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Glad someone finally shares my sentiments. I got an hour long lecture on virtue and how I should respect myself from a friend after posting this piece
Simple analogy….a key which opens many locks is a master key. But nobody wants a lock opened by many keys
I believe the nail has been hit on the head
There were times you wrote like a virgin. Bet the cherry is already popped hence the need to justify that. Again, Of course we need to be sexed and we need girls like you to give it up. Just don’t deny me when i ask for it.
I agree with Musale. Assuming you are a parent, what age would you tell your daughter, “You can sex when you want”?
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Um, I beg to disagree on a particular paragraph:
“Virginity is oppression. The sooner women realize this, the better most marriages will be. Embrace your sexuality, having sex is NOT a SIN. There’s a reason why you have you have a vagina, use it!”
Well, if all through you mentioned it’s “the MARRIED women…” then, most of this would have made sense to me (and I presume, any other Christian out there. By Christian I mean an individual who is saved).
Having sex is a sin. Biblically we’re warned against involvement in sex before marriage and out of marriage. (Ephesians 5:3 comes to mind). Both men and women who are not married are supposed to abstain from sex till they’re married. This makes you reach the point where sex cannot be the reason you’re getting married and you will all be well able to control your desires (having learnt to abstain and a couple other Christian lessons on the matter) when temptation to commit sexual sin accosts you in your marriage. And in my opinion, that is what makes a marriage (plus many other things you don’t want me typing here, especially not having experienced marriage).
I stand to be corrected. And better if you make that Scriptural.
Man I did again! Can’t I be without involving the Spirit? heh! heh! :p
Wow! This is quite an intense expression of sentiments Leah!
But I beg to do some serious differing, hehe! I believe that when it comes to this sought of sexuality, it was never a question of liberation or slavery, never a question of a battle between the sexes. Hmmm..imagine Leah, a world where people would be able to do things simply for the reason that they have the ability to do them? Set my annoying neighbor’s house on fire…for I know how to lite a match, huh? Walk nude for it’s my body, I own it, and I can use it however I want…hurl insults at anyone, any time, they are my words and I can use them whichever way I feel like?
I believe, that the essence then goes back to, why do we do what we do? What’s the motivation behind our actions? Virginity? What’s your driving force as a lady? For if you’re able to correctly answer that, then you’ll be content to wait. But if it was something forced upon? Then it lacks meaning…and becomes slavery of sorts, as you’ve pointed out!
Totally love though, the fact that you’ve unashamedly opened up the floor for people to voice their sentiments on this somewhat touchy topic…we fail, we fall, we fade, and get misconstrued because we want to sweep this topic somewhere beneath the carpet and imagine that it disappeared..hmmm…and that never worked, hehehe!
Sleeping around? Well, I don’t think that ever made anyone noble…not the man, and not the lady either…and waiting, I think it’s a test of sorts…he finds you valuable enough to wait on, and she does too, so she waited until she had vowed…until he had vowed, before the whole world, before the Maker, to love you, and you alone…to be faithful to you, and you alone. And with all those witnesses? The vow has to be kept, no? But what surety does one have, if one sleeps around before the vow? She’ll say, he’ll say those sweet nothings to you today, and repeat them all over again, to someone else tomorrow…so I strongly believe that I am not, enslaved, neither I’m I missing out on anything by waiting.
But those are just my humble sentiments, you’ve opened a beautiful floor for people to share, share and share some more, their thought on this!
That was a good read 🙂
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I have to say, this was a very insightful read until it started getting evidently feminist, for a couple of reasons:
1. Is it that just because society accepts it of men, then that automatically makes it right? Sexual restraint and standards should be adhered to, both by men and women, irrespective of how society chooses to perceive it.
2. Sex is not a competition, but it certainly started sounding like one. It is a known fact that women put men they would consider sleeping with under much more scrutiny, so why risk hurting yourself by doing it like you’re being chased? Case in point, how many ladies would solicit a male prostitute for love of the big “O”, as you put it? Fact is, it doesn’t come as simply to women as it does to men, so take your time.
3. That point on virginity sounded more like a mere justification. I mean, sure, women are, by all means, entitled to enjoy sex. But believe me, someday, when two people are truly in love, and each party is ready to give themselves wholly to the relationship, that desire for her to have preserved herself is innate, and not forced upon her by anyone.
4. Sexually liberated women do not scare men, that is, honestly speaking, a feminist view. Men simply tend to keep away because being in a relationship with her would leave him constantly being made to feel like he owes her something, and having equated every aspect of her life with a man’s would make her very hard to live with, so men simply keep away.
Empty sexual encounters have just as much of a detrimental effect on women as they do on men and their future relationships. So, it is not a matter of how much society praises men and ostracises women for doing it, but rather how much you’re willing to adhere to your own personal values; and those values moulded by making it a life mission to “break the mould” don’t count.
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Reblogged this on Rants and Raves and commented:
Lol, wait, so in a nutshell, all you’re saying is, because men are sticking their weeners into every living thing on the planet, why can’t we? Right? So stupid. So, next, if we decide we’re going to throw ourselves off cliffs, you will too, right? I sort of understand the message you’re trying to put across, it’s poorly packaged.
I was enjoying the rant till I read this —>>> “I bet the fact that sexually liberated women are aware of their rights scares the hell out of the men in our generatio
because they know exactly what they
want.” Thats a very unpopular myth … why would men be scared??
Your argument also on society (read men) is the typical feminist B.S
Lol, let this sink into there heads!!