CATFISH 0 : DARKSKINS 10

Drama unfolded yesterday night on the TL as popular lightskin chics who have been setting standards left, right and centre were exposed to be parodies. As usual us darkskins came out in full regalia, dancing in jubilation as we ‘LOLed’ and ‘LMAO’d at the unfortunate tweeps who had fallen victim.

On behalf of the twitter darkskin’s association, we would like to thank the blogger who conducted thorough investigations to reveal the catfishes.

I mean, it had become too unbearable for us sisters with darkskin. What with the flawless skin, range rovers and the high life that these rich chic’s clique seemed to possess.  Need I mention the army of male tweeps that would crucify you had you dared utter a word against their ‘tweethearts’?

Now that the apparent standard setters have been exposed as mere holograms, we can sip our millet porridge and eat omena and matumbo in peace. Yesss!!! Power to the darkskin!!!

NB: Dudes, next time you’re about to slide into that Lightskin chic’s DM, be very careful. Ensure you run a background check (Facebook, google search etc)  and interview atleast 2 members of her extended and nuclear family. Also, tell her to attach a recent passport photo( no filters) and a copy of her national ID on whatsapp…..Lest you find that you have been flirting with a full grown man with a beard and balls bigger than yours.

As for us darkskin chics, we can sit back, okoa jahazi for MBs and laugh at y’all struggling to impress internet hunnies as we listen to John Cena’s theme song “our time is Now”. Afterall, you will come back home to us and put a ring on our fingers; sire little darkskin babies and live happily ever after . I mean where else will you get someone who makes chapati’s better than us?? Oh, and did I forget ugali??

*sips strong tea and cold ugali*

Peace!!

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