Diary of A Confused Campus Girl

Dear Diary,

This week has flown by so fast. Cats are raping us left, right and centre and exams are in three weeks time. The panic mode is beginning to settle and that fear of failure is beginning to creep in. I feel a bit inadequate, afraid I won’t be able to prepare in good time.

There’s just too much stuff going on in my life at the moment. I’m beginning to wonder if the profession I chose to delve in was the right one for me. What if I won’t be able to cope with the huge workload?  What if…? Funny how old I’m growing, my concerns and dreams with regard to life keep me up at night. I guess I’ll leave all that at the future’s discretion. Things will work out I guess.

Aside from academics, school is awesome. I can gladly attest to the growth in my social life and my social habits in general. I am no longer that girl that used to sit and curl at a corner in class and doodle on my notebooks or read old books. I’m actually getting along well with folks this semester, a shocker even unto myself. Conversations are no longer awkward. Maybe I am human after all.

Still on the social debacle, I’m glad to be a woman for once in my life. The free food during dates and being treated like a princess, being pampered all the time and compliments being thrown your way could make any girl happy. Having boobs was a good thing after all. Who knew I would one day come to appreciate the twins. For the girl that used to brush her teeth and disinfect her mouth immediately after a kiss for fear of contracting stuff, I have really grown. The naivety I once possessed flew out of the window and in its place came a huge load of maturity.

I guess I’ve discovered that there are no rules in this world other than those you set to restrict your own soul. I’ve learnt that I am the chief custodian of my life and bear the responsibility of all my actions.  I no longer do things to please other people, nor try to make them like me. It’s all part of the growing up package. People will always judge you yet they do not have an inkling of why you are the way you are. Life is one weird mystery and I will not even try to understand it but try to live each and every moment trying to maximize on the pleasures it has to offer. The pain will be there, but so what? I will grow a tougher skin and bear it all, or maybe buy  a packet of tissues and cry the pain away, it’s way easier.

For now, I will only concern myself with books, food and boys. I shall focus on enjoying my youth before I start thinking of how I will pay rent,  electricity and water bills soon enough…..