Dating is a rollercoaster. At one moment you are head over heels in love, starry eyed and all mushy; the next, you don’t even want to hear their name, let alone see their faces. The dynamic nature is the beauty of it all. Dating patterns are very diverse and the preferences vary from one individual to the next. While some prefer dating people who are closer to their own circles, others prefer those who are very distant.
Curious about these patterns, I sought to find out the opinion of my Campus peers with regards to the sensitive issue of dating; whether they would date a peer/classmate or not? Out of the ten persons interviewed in an informal setting, eight bluntly stated that they would not even encourage the idea let alone try delving into a relationship with a fellow classmate.
Among the major reasons given as to why they would not dare to date a fellow classmate was distraction. They argued that a person’s concentration levels would be affected dismally especially when the person they are dating is seated next to them in class. This will obviously lead to a decline in academic performance. The urge to talk to or text the other person would be overwhelming, another form of distraction.
Others cited boredom in the relationship as another main hindrance to them dating a classmate. The thought of seeing each other on a daily basis, having the same timetable and the same breaks would be overwhelming and would kill the spontaneity and sparks in a relationship. They further pointed out that eventually, either or both of them would grow tired of the other person thus causing the relationship to end unceremoniously.
The mutual respect that should exist between two classmates would be lost once they begin dating. They will stop viewing themselves as equals but as girlfriend and boyfriend. As thus, they will fail to draw the line when it comes to separating the relationship and class boundary. If a fight culminates in the course of the relationship, then it would be difficult for the two to conceal their emotional wrangles from the rest of the class. The silent treatment that is common amongst young relationships will be evident for all to see. This seemed to be a critical fear amongst those who pointed out that they would never consider dating a fellow classmate. Relationships ought to be a strict affair of two and exposing its faults to the world would be akin to airing dirty laundry in public.
The issue of intimacy would also not be the same owing to the fact that there will be no privacy as such.
Despite strong opposition, the other two said that would date a classmate simply because of the convenience and the mere fact that there will be less squabbles in the relationship because of a synchronized schedule of activities. Besides, a person in your own class will understand you better especially where matters of time and finances are concerned. As thus, none of the parties will have to stretch themselves beyond their limits.
Opinions can be very diverse when it comes to dating and relationships in general. There is no ‘one size fits all’ guideline to help navigate you around. You have to look for what suits your needs then go for it. It doesn’t matter whether one is in your class or not, older or younger than you are. With the right attitude and level of mental maturity, virtually any relationship can work out. Drop the stereotypes, date the person that pleases your heart and be happy.
Relationships require preparedness– for anything. If you are not, do not get into one. Or else you will end up hurt. Simple things yet very complex. For many students it is a matter of convenience instead of preparedness. “Let’s do this” but they are not ready; in all aspects for it or how to go about it.
You’ve said it better. Attitude and level of mental maturity matters the most.
There was no way I was going to date a classmate in my four years in campus. No way in hell am I going to a class where my boyfriend looks at me weird when I chat up my other male friends. It’s like working with your boyfriend. If it is my husband, well that’s another issue.