Pregnancy Jibbies

The past month has been rather cold and the sight of pregnant women on the streets has been making me give them those ‘I know what you did’ eyes and stupid grins. Pregnancy is a beautiful thing, the gateway to motherhood. It’s supposed to transform a woman into a goddess of some sorts, but sadly I do not look forward to it. What with the stretch marks and the thought of turning into a huge round- bellied monster creeping in whenever the idea pops out. “Every woman has passed or will pass through it” is supposed to be my mantra, but unfortunately I am not all that convinced.

Well, I sure love babies and I have nothing against them but on condition that they are someone else’s baby and preferably 3 months old and above. We can all agree that new born babes with their  pink and grimy skins are not a sight to behold (don’t give me those side-eyes). They sort of look like the DNAliens in the Ben-10, their skin all wrinkly and eyes that cannot see. These little creatures scare me half to death and I do not have an inkling of how I’m supposed to procreate. Can’t we all just agree to have artificial wombs and have them raised in the hospital nurseries till they are 3months old without bringing in the God issue? Things will be much easier that way.

How dozens of women survive pregnancy is still a puzzle to me. The thought of having a creature growing inside you and sucking away all the nutrients you ingest is nerve racking. Suppose they overgrow and your tummy just busts open like an overblown balloon? What if you fall and roll down a slope or a flight of stairs in your rounded state? What if the womb becomes too heavy and you couldn’t move or do anything that requires physical activity. What if something goes wrong during delivery and you end up dead? What if the baby doesn’t like you when you finally give birth? What if you vomit endlessly coz of morning sickness and end up having your stomach turned inside out and expelled through the throat? The questions could go on and on…

Yet somehow, I’m supposed to have faith that things will turn out ok. I was brought into the world in the same manner, it’s because another woman was willing to bear me that I am here. But I am not convinced that I have that much love inside of me and pictures of month old fetuses make the situation even worse. How is one supposed to live with the fact that a fish, nay frog embryo like creature is, taking form inside one’s body? The mental connotation of this image is enough to drive me nuts.

Perhaps I should let time heal my fears….or maybe I should just cross the bridge when I get there:maybe having an alien in your womb isn’t such a scary thing after all.One thing is certain though, I am not planning to have someone grow inside me any time soon…