Accept and Move On

Some few years ago, if one had dared told me that I would not be on speaking terms with my close circle of friends, I would have condemned them straight to damnation. Such a sad event was beyond the scope of my bubbly imagination at the time. I had people around me that I loved and cherished, nothing else mattered. The future would cater for itself. Yet, 3 years down the line, I have had to stomach the bitter reality: that of accepting change.

After the past general election, the phrase ‘accept and move on’ in reference to those who lost their much sought after positions to be a part of the new government was widely used. Kenyans just wanted to put the whole elections issue behind their back and move on with their lives, whether one got elected honestly or not was a whole debate that they were just not willing to take part in. The message was for these folks to accept the outcome as things could not be changed.

However easy it may seem, accepting fate and change for that matter is quite difficult. Sometimes we are just not ready to let go; deep inside each one of us is afraid of the uncertain nature of the future, we want to hold on to what we have and jealously protect it from any change-causing factor. No one is willing to let go of their friends, nor the things they possess. Perhaps the thought of being lonely and the feeling of emptiness is what scares us the most. Things should remain the same; no one should destabilize our happiness.

More families are willing to see their loved ones battle death on a life support machine rather than unplug the wires and put an end to their suffering. I think it’s cruel to deny the dead their well-deserved rest, mortals cannot restore the breath of life. Once it’s gone, then it’s best to let it be. We accept the outcome; we all must die at one point. So many mothers cry themselves to sleep every night, wondering where they went wrong. What had they ever done to deserve a homosexual, a criminal, a severely cocaine-addicted son? Where had they gone wrong? Surely, they deserved better. They bear the brunt of their children’s ills, suffering the shame that is as a result of living in a judgmental society, a stoic society that refuses to accept the reality of the circumstances we are subjected to in the modern world. And so, they brazenly deny that their offspring abuses any drugs, yet the signs scream out for all to see; and the person they called a son/ daughter slowly dims into nothingness. It is then that they painful reality comes as a shock, perhaps the situation could have been rectified, maybe rehab would have made him/her better…too late. The cycle of self condemnation begins.

Life is dynamic, change inevitable. No matter how much we love someone, we must be ready to let them go at the opportune time that they feel that they cannot reciprocate your affection. However painful, you have to release what you treasure most. Others will come, new things will spring up to fill the voids left by the old ones. It is a continuous cycle of give and take, then be given again. But there are rare times when you have to fight for what you strongly believe in, however much the world wants to yank it away from you. Resisting change only tears you apart, much like swimming against the current. Accept and move on…..